After Christmas Blues

One of my favorite podcast preachers is Matt Chandler.  I was listening to one of his pre-Christmas sermons.  He was warning people about the potential for the post-Christmas blues to hit.  He described the problem as a focus on shadows rather than substance, leading to an after Christmas, after gifts, after meals, after guests experience of "Is that all there is?" He is so right.  It's like preparing for a wedding, but not the marriage.  The beauty of Christmas for believers is that after Christmas, we still have the Christ.  We know the baby who was lying in a manger in Bethlehem on that first Christmas.  We remember the life He lived, without sin.  We know the warmth of His love as He spilled his own blood on the cross.  And because of His perfect sacrifice, we who were far away have been brought near to the God who created everything.  We have cried out for mercy because of the sins we have committed.  He has forgiven us and He has adopted us.  So the after Christmas blues do not have to be ours - we, who are the sons and daughters of God!

My language helper, Kremi celebrating Christmas for the first time

Which Stefka are you?

Here's a "made for blogging" story:  A few weeks ago I met with my language teacher, Stefka, for what was the last scheduled session before the Christmas holidays.  As we wrap up the last session of the week I always take a few minutes to pay her for the week's work.  On this particular occasion I simply forgot and being the polite person that she is, Stefka did not remind me.  I was not sure if I would be able to meet again before Christmas and so she told me to call her if I could meet.  Things were starting to click for me so I decided that I wanted to squeeze in at least one more session.  It was the night of the MTW Bulgaria Christmas Party when I realized that I hadn't contacted Stefka yet.  I thought to myself that I would call her when the party was over and ask if she could meet the next day.  The problem was that we stayed at the party longer than planned and by the time I remembered to call, it was much too late.  Instead of calling, I sent a text message to Stefka that said, "Can we meet tomorrow? Tell me when and where.  I still need to pay you."  I didn't get an immediate response, but the next morning I was awakened by a call from Stefka.  I was having a hard time understanding her, but I didn't think too much of it at the time.  She told me that she would like to meet at her office and suggested 2:30.  Until now, we have been meeting at McDonald's, but she had said that during the holidays it might work for us to meet at her home in the Geo Milev neighborhood.  We also typically met at 10:30, so I was a little confused.  I told her that I didn't know where her office was and asked if we could meet at McDonald's instead - at 10:30.  She was very insistent on meeting at her office and really wanted 2:30.  I asked if her office was in Geo Milev and she said that, of course it was - on Kosta Lulchev Street.  Finally, I reluctantly agreed, knowing that I didn't know how to get to her office.  I figured that I would call when I got close and she could help me from that point.  I said "good-bye" and hung up- very confused.  THEN IT HIT ME. I sent a text message to Stefka, the landlord at my old apartment, not Stekfa, my language teacher.  No wonder I had a hard time understanding her, she struggles with English whereas my language teacher speaks nearly perfect English. Then I reviewed the conversation in my head. She must have thought I was completely nuts.  My old apartment was right nextdoor to her office, and now I am telling her that I have no idea where her office is.  "Can we meet at McDonald's?" I asked.  We had always met in her office or in our apartment beside it.  THEN I THOUGHT A LITTLE MORE.  Why would she even call me? I haven't lived there in 6 months. Oh.....right.... the text message!  Okay, what did my message say?  Remember, remember, remember! "Can we meet tomorrow? Tell me when and where.  I still need to pay you."  Oh great, I called my old landlord, asked for a meeting, and told her that I still needed to pay her.  That's why she called!  Oh, how do I explain this to her.  She will never understand my explanation.  My next step was to call Vlado.  He works in our office and helps us out when we need him.  I was so glad that he was willing to call Stefka, landlord, and explain to her that my message was for Stefka, language teacher.  BTW - I programmed my landlord's number into my phone over a year ago.  When I started working with my new language teacher, I switched my input language to Bulgarian and entered her name in Bulgarian.  After everything was cleared up, I realized that I still needed to get in touch with my language teacher...But which Stefka do I choose?

Ain't got no place else to go: medical missions week

God Has Not Forgotten You!

This was my second year participating in the Pazardzik medical clinic.  Last year I was the only therapist and so I tackled many wide ranging issues.  Most of the people I saw complained of pain with backs, knees, and shoulders.  Because I have spent most of my professional life working with children with disabilities such as cerebral palsy and autism, last year was very challenging.  This year I was joined by three other therapists, a physical therapist, an occupational therapist who is a certified hand therapist, and a pediatric occupational therapist like myself.  We divided the team between the church and a local children’s home.  I spent time at each location.  At the church my particular skills were not in high demand, but I was able to help a few people and pray with them.  Much of the time I felt like a student learning from more experienced medical missionaries how to go from meeting physical needs right into meeting spiritual needs.

At the children’s home I was more in my element and felt like I added to the value of the services being provided there.The needs of the kids (really they were young adults) were so significant, but two very positive things stood out. The staff was so loving, so compassionate toward their kids and they were extremely open to us being there and documenting the experience. I expected restrictions on pictures and video, but there were none. I expected reservation toward spiritual matters, but instead I saw openness. Boyan, who translated at this facility all week told me that the director extended an open invitation for us, for me to return and that if we needed it, they would help us with accommodations. I worked at the children’s home on Tuesday and Wednesday, but helped to cover the church clinic on Thursday so that Cornelia could go over using her expertise as a hand therapist to make some splints. Cornelia relayed to me that on that day, she and others made clear to the staff that I would be able to return to address many of the issues that were identified, but left undone. It is my desire to return soon. I want to follow-up on a few projects, but more importantly, I want to build on the relationships that were established by our medical team. As we finished our work on Friday, the staff came over to the church to express their gratitude. We had a short time of prayer and then said our goodbyes. The story that most encapsulates the week for me was what happened to a young man named Ivan and what happened to his mother. On Monday evening, meetings were planned with some of the parents of the kids at the children’s home. Dave and Vlado were going over, expecting that there might be some conflict with a particular parent. This would not be the case. I asked about tagging along and was encouraged to do so. We walked into one of the rooms where Brad (the child neurologist on our team), Mallory (occupational therapist) and Boyan were sitting and talking with a parent. At that time there was really nothing for me to do and so I drifted toward the meeting and began listening in. I listened to a mother open up about a lifetime of guilt, about self-doubt wandering what she could have done to make her son’s life and his health better. Brad was so gentle with her. He explained that there were only a few things that a mother could do in this situation and that there was conclusive evidence that she was doing those things. Brad prayed for her and he told her that she had to find a way to let go of the guilt and pointed to Pastor Rangel and said that he was someone who could help her work through it. Rangel knew nothing of the conversation and had just walked in the room in time for Brad to connect him with the mother. God’s timing is perfect! They spoke quietly together for a few minutes.

The next day, Mallory and I worked with Ivan and got him into some new and healthier positions. Normally he lies twisted on his bed. We also began making modifications to his wheelchair that would be completed later in the week. Ivan was up and smiling. He looked really good. The next day, Ivan’s mother visited and the team continued to work with both Ivan and his mother. I was told that she said that she would never have imagined that this could happen for her son. She said, “It’s like a miracle.” She also said that she wanted to visit with Rangel at the church. The last time I stood in front of my home church before we came to Bulgaria, I referenced John 9:1-3 where Jesus is asked by his disciples, “Who sinned this man or his parents that he should be born blind?” His response was “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” I told them about a man and his son whom I had met on our first visit to Bulgaria and I posed this question, “What if this father began to grasp the truth of this passage and stood against the tide of his culture that says his son has no value and he began to tell people, ‘I don’t know all the reasons my son was born this way, but one of them is that the work of God might be displayed in him!’?” It just pierced my heart to hear that Ivan’s mother said, “It’s like a miracle,” and immediately I remembered posing this question to my church. If nothing else happened during that week, this was enough because it sent a message to a hurting, lonely, and tired mother. That message was, “There is a God in Heaven. He has not forgotten your son, and He has not forgotten you.”

The Darkness Does Not Comprehend It

On the last day, Susan had an opportunity to come to Pazardjik and put her therapy skills to good use.
Mallory is to her left and Lyndsey is on the right.

The Medical Team (L to R), Back row: Sam, Vlado, Dave, Vladi, Boyan, Greg; Middle row: Heidi, Teddi, Lyndsey,  Betsy, Cheryl; Front row: Cornelia, Mallory, Brad; Unfortunately I didn't get any good action shots of the three people who did the most behind the scenes work, but you can see them now: Dave, Cheryl and Betsy, who were very active, just not in front of my camera. 

Dr. Sam chatting with Lyndsey and one our great translators, Teddi

What can an engineer do on a medical team? Ask Heidi.
She is helping us to customize this wheelchair.  Great contribution!

Vlado chatting with a patient at the church-based clinic

He sure looks good sitting up like that!  It was a group effort.

On Friday, the staff from the children's center came to visit our team at the church.

Pastor Rangel chatting with Mallory and Teddi

Who is the therapist here?  Vlado is demonstrating a hands-on approach to translating.
At the bottom of this picture you will find the therapist, Cornelia.

All week, Mallory and Dr. Brad were singing the praises
 of their translator, Boyan (center of the picture).  I got to watch him work
and I can confirm that he did a wonderful job.

Greg (pre-haircut) with Vladi, who helped translate.
He would also like for you to know that he is from Plevin.

Not only did Teddi do a great job translating,
she also did a fantastic job cutting my hair after a long
 day of work.

Pray for Medical Team in Pazardjek

I should be sleeping now, but I have a few more things to pack before heading off to Pazardjek to participate in a church sponsored medical clinic.  I participated last year and was tested by the variety of issues that I was asked to address.  This year there will be other therapists who will bring expertise in areas where I am weak, so I am thankful for that! This year will be a little different.  Last year we saw people who came into the church seeking help for a variety of aches and pains or to get a blood pressure check or a pair of reading glasses or just to get a second opinion.  We have a new opportunity to go out into the community and serve in an orphanage.  I am really excited about the opportunity.  The director of the facility has been in touch with the pastor of the church in Pazardjek and has pursued this relationship.  Pray that we would love the people well whom we will serve this week and that we would honor Christ in our work and in our words.  Pray that doors would open for the gospel and that lasting relationships would form through this outreach.  Taking pictures and video can be controversial here, particularly after Bulgarian orphanages were embarrassed a few years back by a BBC documentary.  We will try to ensure them that we are friends and that we are here to help.  If they grant permission for pics and video, I will share them.  If not, I will do my best to paint a picture with my words!  God bless you and thank you for praying.  If by chance, you read this after the team is finished with its work, please take a few minutes to pray because ours is a long term view.  We expect God to work and for fruit to grow far into the future.

.....No Better Place to Go!

It has been a good long stretch since my last blog entry.  It has not been that I have been too busy or that I haven't had much to write about.  The opposite is true, in fact.  There has been much to say, but frankly a lot of it has been negative and rather than air a bunch of raw, confused emotions, I opted not to submit entries during that time.  Now that a little time has passed, I will try to recap what happened when I went dark in the blogging world.  Over the summer, Susan and I took our kids to Bansko to live in close proximity to some of our Bulgarian friends for one month.  The intended purpose of this trip was to give us a boost with our command of the Bulgarian language.  While we came away from that experience hearing a little better, it was not the breakthrough experience that we had hoped.  We had passed the one year mark for language study and had heard of and seen others who were far more fluent in a much shorter span of time.  When expressing discouragement about this observation, some would say, "Yeah, but he is single and that makes difference," or similar such statements.  Then there was the unintended punch in the gut.  A well meaning Bulgarian friend said, "You're not studying Bulgarian are you? Because you don't seem like you are getting any better."  Around the same time, during a contentious moment in an argument over a small sum of money, a Bulgarian lady insulted me by saying, "I'm sorry you can't speak Bulgarian!"  A day or two after that, I stood next to Susan in the grocery store when a similar criticism was thrown out at her.  She was more gracious than I.  I just turned and walked away steaming and hating Bulgaria.  We have been going to classes on good days and bad.  We have been studying in between caring for our kids and getting them educated.  We have been getting involved with our community and going to our Bulgarian speaking church and participating in a family group there.  And we, I in particular have been falling apart.  I spent a great deal of time pleading with God for help and a great deal of time being angry with Him for not helping.  You can see, these are not the happy things that missionaries usually write home about.  I have not hidden these things from my team and many of them have been very supportive and understanding.  Many people have been praying us through this time and though I felt very alone and questioned God's help, His help and His comfort have come. 
Susan and I have had opportunities to serve disabled children in a few different settings.  We have invitations and opportunities to do more and we are excited for how we see God shaping our ministry here. No, it hasn't been pretty for the past several months, but it has been necessary.  I have been shown my great need for God and spending time in solitude with no one but Him.  This has been good for me.  It has been good for Susan and it has been good for our kids.  Paul and Liz Meiners (MTW Europe Care Coordinators) were here for our team retreat in August.  During that time, Paul interviewed me and asked what I felt like I needed to be most successful in ministry.  My response was, "I need to feel like my life is not unraveling." Well, I can say that I no longer feel like my life is unraveling, but I have been humbled by how easily and how quickly I could be there again.  Without going into too many boring details, I will say that my family and I needed a readjustment.  There were practical things about daily life that had to change - that we continue to work on, and there are spiritual disciplines that needed to be picked up and given priority.  SO HERE WE STAND - We are not gifted language learners, but we press on because learning the language well will improve our ability to talk with Bulgarians and the deeper we can go in conversations the more opportunities we will have to discuss matters of the heart - and when you get to the heart, there is no better place to go, but to the gospel.

The first 14 months in still pics (click here)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbjyisR_bYU

Therapy Conference Week

On Wednesday and Thursday, Susan and I benefited from the work of some local therapists in cooperation with a missionary from another organization.  They arranged to have Sara Rosenfeld-Johnson come over to deliver a two day continuing education conference.  In addition to benefiting from the high quality of instruction, Susan and I were also able to save on travel expenses.  We saw some familiar faces and made new contacts in the community, including two instructors from the University of Sofia.  I will be meeting with them on Friday to discuss ways that we may be able to assist them in their work.  One of the things they mentioned was that they are interested in working in orphanages.  This is something that Susan and I were hoping to explore before we came here.  Pray that this meeting bears fruit.

On the day following the Rosenfeld-Johnson conference, we spoke at a professional conference (International Conference on Early Childhood Development) where the speakers wrote papers and shared their research.  My understanding is that many of them were doing this as a requirement for their advanced degrees.  While we opted against full participation in this conference, primarily because of the language barrier, the titles of many of the presentations indicated to us that this was a serious conference and that the presenters did a lot of homework to prepare.  We also did a lot of homework to prepare, but it seems that no matter how much preparing I do, I always wish I had a little more time.  We agreed several weeks ago on a one hour presentation, but realized in the days leading up to the conference that we were likely to run out of time - which we did.  Another hour could have been really useful.  I left the conference feeling pretty good about the presentation.  The time was a limitation, which I had already accepted, but I was pleased that we were able to lay out a framework for diagnosing sensory processing disorders and give some examples (though I would have preferred to do more - if time permitted). The audience appeared to be entertained and engaged.I felt good about this, too, that is until I heard from a friend that often Bulgarians will discount the value of a presentation if it is too entertaining.  Apparently, in some circles "fun" is the opposite of "educational."  To quote Nacho Libre, "Whatever." As we were walking to the bus after the conference, Susan and I started talking about how much progress it appeared that Bulgarian therapists had made from the time that we first came here in 2006.  At some point, we don't know when that will be, our skills and knowledge base will not be unique here.  Susan asked, "What will we do then?"  This was a challenging question, but one I had been thinking about.  This is what God has been showing me:  Our skills, whatever they may be, can be tools for serving others and working our way into this culture for the purpose of establishing relationships, but they are not what makes us most valuable to the people around us.  Our greatest value is that the Holy Spirit is at work in us, teaching and motivating us to serve others and to share the love of Christ with them.



Nina, the organizer of this conference told me that she would be making a video of our presentation available to us in a few weeks.  Some of that material may surface here when it is available.  In our biographical information advertising the conference, we mentioned that we are in Bulgaria on invitation of the Evangelical Union.  Though we do not shy away from our Christ-centered view of the world, there was no intent to present anything other than a therapist's approach to diagnosing sensory processing disorders, but it was out there that we are "church workers."  I never know how people will react in this culture when they hear that I am a missionary.  I hear that people tend to disengage, but so far, my experience is that most are simply indifferent or apathetic.  So about 30 minutes before we spoke, a lady came at sat down next to me in the breakroom.  Susan and I had spoken to her on previous days, so she was at least a familiar face.  Her first question was, "Are you missionaries?"  Now I pray for such questions, but when it was asked, for a split second my anxiety level shot up.  I told her that we were and her response was that she, too is an evangelical and she lives in Vergas (on the other side of the country).  She expressed a desire to meet with us if we are ever there.  Sorry, I have no pictures of the event, but hopefully the video will be coming soon.

Educating Themselves

While I was in the shower, Eli and Paul were busy at work.  Paul came and knocked on the door and asked, "Is 99 high for a dog?"  What?!?!  I had no idea what he was talking about and so I quickly finished my shower and yelled out, "What are you talking about?" I opened the door and Paul was standing there.  He said that Eli held down Happy, our dog while he, Paul checked his temperature with the ear thermometer.  I first chose to deal with the scientific inquiry.  "I don't know what a dog's temperature should be."  Then I asked the parenting question, "Why did you do that?"  When the response came back, "We wanted to see if he had a fever," well,  I had nothing to say.  I guess I was impressed.  No, I was more than impressed - I was down right proud of their inquisitive minds.  Imagine what they could do with a college education.  The more I thought about what they did and the more I imagined what the scene must have looked like, the more I smiled.  We have been searching for a Vet's office closer to our apartment.  Who knew that Johnston & Johnston Vet Clinic was already opened for business?

Eye-Opening Reminder

A lot has been going on here since my last blog entry, but this entry will not be about those things.  Our kids are on spring break and unlike most of the other missionary families, we opted to stay in town.  It has become increasingly obvious that having a car will be very helpful with upcoming ministry opportunities, so we decided to save our money and prepare to make a purchase.  Still, we wanted to have some vacation-like experiences so we have been getting out and exploring the city.  For instance, today we visited an ancient art museum in the basement of Alexander Nevsky Cathedral, where 16th century church related pieces were common place.  Joshua mixed it up with the locals riding his skateboard in the park.  Yesterday we found a different park where we drew a lot of attention from the locals playing our version of wall ball.  It was great to get out and have fun, but prior to locating the perfect wall ball site, I got a little ahead of everyone else in a desperate search for a public bathroom.  As I came to a dead end where I would have to turn right or left, I decided that I would need to stand still and wait for the rest of the family to catch up.  As I was looking down the street, a very well dressed man walked up to me and asked a question.  When I told him that I didn't understand, he switched to English and asked for the time.  I told him and then he walked around the corner.  A few seconds later he returned and said, "Let me give you my business card."  I took it and before I read the first word, he said, "We have the most beautiful girls in Bulgaria."  I promptly handed his card back to him and told him that I wasn't interested.

I told Susan about the incident and said that I wish I had been a little quicker on my feet.  I would have liked to have asked him how they find their girls and how they retain them.  You see, Bulgaria has a huge problem with international sex slave trafficking and prostitution.  Our team is involved with an organization called Daughters of Bulgaria that is working to address this problem.  Our team members have been involved in prayer groups and reaching out to some of the girls who have been working out on the streets.  Some of them choose this lifestyle and some are deceived or sold into it.  It is very sad.  Please pray that God would work powerfully and that unimaginable changes would come and break the back of the sex trafficking and prostitution industry in Bulgaria.

News from Bulgaria on Orphans

Too Big to Fail

The First Evangelical Church of Sofia has a prime piece of real estate in the city center and a vision for serving the community and advancing the gospel.  As you look at the pictures below, notice the fully developed plots on each side of the street.  The working name of this endeavor is the "Gladstone Project."  Gladstone is the name of the street where the property resides.  It is near an intersection of three streets.  I took a picture looking down each street.  If you were to walk through the center of the city and you turned down Gladstone St., you would be struck to see such a large undeveloped lot.  

I tried to take pictures that showed the size that the new building would be (as required by zoning ordinances, but the pictures don't do it justice.  Even though the property is a short distance from the church, I had not been there.  After one of our first committee meetings, Elka who has been a central player in the early stages of the project, walked with me to look at the property.  As we stood across the street from the property (now currently functioning as a paid parking lot), Elka explained the dimensions to me.  There are three tall buildings, with smaller structures built against them.  The smaller buildings will be demolished to make way for the new facility.  It will be required to be the same height as the other three buildings and must be built to touch each of them.  Wow!  I don't know if you will get how massive that must be from the pictures I have taken.  Elka said that when she is working on the project at home it can seem manageable, but when she walks down to look at the property and the enormity of the space, it is easy to feel overwhelmed.  I felt it, too!  In preparation for this blog entry, I spent a morning walking around the neighborhood, taking pictures and visiting some nearby shops.  I settled at a cafe around the corner from Gladstone and ordered a cappuccino.  I opened my Bible and began reading in Genesis where I had left off from the day before.  I began in chapter 11.  This is the chapter that covers the Tower of Babel.  As I read about the pride of the builders of that project, the sense of being overwhelmed a few days before became strangely comforting to me.  We have not come to a place of saying, "Watch us! We can do this!"  The mood from the beginning has been that we need to pray and trust God through this process.  What a sad thing it would be when all is said and done for us to be impressed with the work of our hands and to have forgotten our God.  The Tower of Babel is a sober reminder that no matter how big the building gets, no matter how many skilled people we gather for the work, we can do nothing without our God.  May He never bend down on a knee to get a closer look at "our" work and decide that we have become too proud.  The truth is that we can make our plans in great detail and we can consider all knowable variables, but there is no project, no building, and even no ministry plan that is too big, too important to fail.  But our confidence is not in our plans.  "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God (Psalm 20:7)." We trust in the name of the Lord our God.  This is where our confidence is in this life and where our confidence must be with the Gladstone Project.  And we can be confident in the will of God because unlike people and plans, He alone is too big to fail.